Percabeth
by PercyBeth
Summary: I decided to continue this, and make it a series of oneshots. Some might not be as random as the first one, but you'll take what I give you! R&R! I don't own anything at all! Do I look like a man?
1. Percabeth

**A/N: I was in the mood to write a humorous one-shot! Tell me what you think! :P**

**EDIT: I reposted this because I needed to change the format. Apparently it got all messed up.**

It was your average day at Camp Half-Blood. Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, was walking cheerfully toward the lake when a son of Athena named John Halverson came up and said, "You wanna test out my teleporter? Great! Now let's get going."

Percy muttered a protest, but it wasn't fast enough to stop the eager inventor. He found himself inside a cylinder in front of the Athena cabin.

"You just stay there and I'll activate the device."

A door closed, trapping Percy inside. A bright light appeared, and soon he was surrounded by it.

Meanwhile, Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena, was walking casually toward the forges when suddenly a bright light appeared- and Percy.

"Percy!" Annabeth exclaimed. "What hap-"

Suddenly the teleporter overloaded. Annabeth was sucked into the light with Percy. They were transported to odd places, like on Clarisse's head. With a large bang and a reasonable amount of smoke, the returned to the teleporter. The doors opened and they emerged.

"_Di immortales_," stuttered John.

Percy and Annabeth were confused- until the saw that their bodies had been merged together.

"THAT'S IT! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE!" screamed an extremely unhappy Annabeth.

"I don't see how," muttered the son of Athena.

"ARE YOU BLIND? I'M STUCK TO _THIS_!" yelled Annabeth, pointing directly at Percy.

Mr. D arrived at the scene and partly shouted "What's with all th-," then looked at Percabeth and then said, "I don't wanna know."

John, who had recovered from the shock, said "Well, Percabeth," said the know calm son of Athena, "looks like you're going to sleep outside tonight while everyone else sleeps in the nice, cozy, cabins. Bye."

It rained hard that night. Very hard. _Very, very_ hard. And Percabeth was sitting right in the middle of it.

"I'm _so _gonna kill that kid", said Annabeth.

"Seconded," said Percy.

The next day John came out of the Athena cabin.

"I found a solution!" he declared. He had invented what seemed to be some sort of ray gun. He fired it at Percabeth and the two demigods were disconnected. Percy drew out Riptide and Annabeth drew out her knife.

And the chase commenced.

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* * *

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**Epilogue**

John knew it would work. So what if he accidentally bonded Percy and Annabeth together? He was sure it would work time. But who to test it on? Then he spotted Grover.


	2. Dan Qualye

**A/N: Okay, well in the reviews, people were asking for a sequel. I promis you, that sequel is in the making, but it's hard to write it. So, until then, you'll have this to ponder. This one's not as funny, but that's what you get when I write it at midnight for no reason whatsoever. (: It was actually inspired by a conversation on the .nr forums. Check it out if you want to see it. (: **

**Also: I HATE SELF INSERTS. Yes, I used my name. Yes, I used my cousin's name. These personalities are in no way related to ours. Trust me! It's just that in order for me to write the story, I had to use the names. Sorry, but it was like OCD or something. Haha. (:**

**Sorry for this one last thing, but I LOVE PMs! If you are ever randomly bored, just PM me! (: Haha. And vote for the poll on my profile.**

**Ah! I lied before, this is the last thing: This story takes place a while after Percy and Annabeth's time. Camp Halfblood is still in New York, but... yeah. You'll figure it out! Now read!**

Dan Qualye.

That's all he could think of.

Why in the world would Dan Qualye show up in his mind when he heard the word "Percabeth?"

Seriously.

Of all the people in the world, Bret had to think of DAN QUALYE, the 44th Vice President of the US of A.

Maybe, it was because he was a nerd, and obsessed with all things History related.

Maybe, it was because he had issues.

"HEY! THAT'S NOT A VERY NICE THING TO SAY!"

……

Whoops. I didn't realize that I was talking aloud. Great...

-Ducks an illegally thrown javelin-

I forgot that I'm not supposed to get him mad.

But seriously, WHY IN THE HADES DAN QUALYE??

It all started on just your typical day at Camp Halfblood. Well, at least as typical as days could get at Camp Halfblood. Bret, son of Athena, and Delia, daughter of Zeus were walking along in the forest discussing random points of interest.

Both Bret and Delia were smart, but Bret was smarter. He was so smart, that he didn't even seem to show any symptoms of Dyslexia. Delia, though, did.

Both demigods also enjoyed guessing. They would always guess what would happen next in ANYTHING. Whether it would be books, movies, life, a board game, a short story, a song… You get the point.

Though Bret and Delia would show many similar traits as you just get to know them, once you read into their words a bit, you could tell that they were polar opposites. That's probably why they were, and always had been, the best of friends.

Of course, like most friends, they would have an occasional fight, but it would always work out in the end. (But obviously halfblood fights are a bit more intense than most fights. I remember that time when Delia zapped Bret in the one place a male DOES NOT want to be –er– zapped. But, I digress.)

Anyway, on this particular Sunday afternoon, when Delia and Bret were strolling in the forest, they came across an oddly shaped stone.

"Delia, what does that look like to you?" Bret asked mischievously.

"Uh… a gigantic rock, I guess." Delia replied in confusion.

Bret emitted a strange noise just then. It was a cross between a goat's bleat and a witch's cackle. Delia couldn't think of a way to describe it, so she called it bleackle. Yes, so original, isn't it?

Once again, I digress.

Delia was a tad freaked out by the sounds Bret happened to be letting escape his body, so she carefully backed away in the same fashion as one would back away from a wild bear.

As she took her third step back, she felt a blast of wind whip her neck. It gave her a feeling of trepidation, but she continued on all the same.

On her fifth step back, a net fell from the skies above, and entangled her. A dozen Stygian birds pinned her to the ground, and somehow managed to cover her mouth with tape. Because of this, she couldn't call out to Bret.

Luckily, Bret soon finished his bleackle-ing, so he saved Delia heroically.

Since Bret had recovered from his shock at the site of the peculiarly shaped rock, he marveled over its existence.

"I believe that this rock was modeled after Percabeth." Bret declared after a minute's worth of studying the facial structure of the stone.

"Who's Percabeth?" was the most intelligent thing Delia could think to say.

"Remember the tales Chiron tells us? You know the ones about Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase."

"Um, not really. Wait; are those the ones where Dionysus worked at Camp as some sort of punishment?"

"Yes! Well, anyway, Percabeth was the son of Percy and Annabeth."

"Bret, according to the story, Percy and Annabeth died at age 18 for 'offending the gods' or something like that. They weren't old enough to have children."

"Ahh, young one. Alas, they had 1 son – named Percabeth. And he looked suspiciously like Dan Qualye."

"Okay then. But I have a few questions:

How did they have a son at age 18?

Why would they name said son 'Percabeth?'

Who is Dan Quayle?

WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME YOUNG ONE? I'M 2 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!!!"

Delia was angry.

Very angry.

Bret replied, "Well, in response to the first question… Wow, is this going to be embarrassing, but… When two people really love each other, they sometimes –"

"OH MY GODS BRET I WASN'T LOOKING FOR THE LITERAL ANSWER!"

"Sorry. I guess I'll just skip to question number two. They named him Percabeth because it was a combination of their names. For question three, I must say that Dan Qualye was the 44th president of the United States. And lastly, though you may be physically older, I am mentally and spiritually older."

"Right. I don't believe word in that load of crap. Erre eis korakas. Go to Hades."

"Fine, believe what you want, but someday, there will be proof! SOME DAY!!!"

Delia and Bret continued their walk in silence. Instead of progressing into the forest, they headed back to camp. Bret went straight to the sword arena; Delia, of course, went straight to the mess hall. She heard there was a chocolate buffet for some reason.

As Bret walked into the arena, he saw a vision. It seemed as if Dan Qualye was standing in front of Bret.

Bret tipped an imaginary hat to Dan, and said, "Good day sir! What brings you here?"

'Dan' replied, "Hello Bret. My name is Percabeth. I can only stay for a few minutes, but I heard that there was a doubter here. Could you get her for me? I must show her the truth."

Bret quickly agreed, and ran as fast as he could to get Delia. He heard someone say, "Chocolate in the mess hall," and automatically knew where he could find her.

After running in, grabbing Delia by the arm, and dragging her to the sword arena, he found that Percabeth had gone.

"But – but- but…" Bret stuttered as he pointed at different spots around the room.

"But what? YOU PULLED ME OUT OF AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF CHOCOLATE SO I COULD LISTEN TO A DWEEB STUTTER? BOY ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT!!!!!!"

Delia does not respond well when she is taken away from chocolate.

That night, a loud crash was heard throughout all of the state. That crash, was Bret's head.

**Please review! (:**


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